God I used to be vain! Now I can barely look at myself in the mirror. I’m not sure when the vanity stopped and the loathing started tbh. Nowadays I tend to try and catch a glimpse or just check myself out of the corner of my eye.
Probably started around the time the sadness did. I know?! How depressing is this? That’s what I said to the doctor eventually. After wondering where my craic, mojo, creativity and sense of humor had disappeared to for the last 4 or 5 years.
Anyhoo had an annoyingly unproductive day stuck in traffic, watching tramps emptying street bins of tab ends, seeing an old colleague has become a bum and the usual wondering how the hell I get my life under control again… my control!
Felt pretty bad for the old colleague. He’s an eccentric and always had hygiene and some common decency issues but to see him walking somberly through doncaster town center with mismatched shoes, trousers easily a foot too short and a jacket covered in …. well ….your guess is as good as mine, was pretty sobering. I made matters worse for my conscience by turning my back before he got close but rectified it slightly by turning profile on so if he saw me he could make a move. He didn’t. He stopped 3 or 4 strides passed me, took his pipe out and calmly lit it and walked on. His name is Charles and he’s an astronomer. In case you were curious.
A weekend of worrying how next week will turn out beckons.
Need to love less.
xx
